


Inconsequential

by SilverBlueFire



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Asexual Hermione Granger, Asexual Relationship, Demisexual Severus Snape, F/M, Implied Asexual Harry, Not Beta Read, Ron Weasley Bashing, mild acephobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-26
Updated: 2019-02-26
Packaged: 2019-11-06 03:24:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17931911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverBlueFire/pseuds/SilverBlueFire
Summary: “Come on ‘Mione. You know we’re meant to be together. Just like Harry and Ginny.”“I admit that I had a schoolgirl crush,” she said clearly. “But I do not want to be your girlfriend, Ronald, much less have sex with you. Now or ever.”Because while she wanted a warm embrace at the end of the day as much as the next person, that was really all she wanted.





	Inconsequential

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't find anything approaching the asexual HG/SS I wanted so I tried to write one. Constructive criticism welcome.

“For the last time, no,” Hermione snarled.

Ronald Weasley pouted. “Come on ‘Mione. You know we’re meant to be together. Just like Harry and Ginny.”

Hermione kept her mouth shut about her best friend and the relationship he braved, but she could not let Ron get away with making them out to be destined.

“I admit that I had a schoolgirl crush,” she said clearly. “But I do not want to be your girlfriend, Ronald, much less have sex with you. Now or ever.” Because while she wanted a warm embrace at the end of the day as much as the next person, that was really all she wanted, and she knew full well that he would never understand that.

His entire demeanor changed in an instant. “That’s just because you’re a frigid bitch.”

Ice chased down her spine. Hermione carefully placed her bookmark between the pages of her text and set it down on the table. She rose, calmly, and stared down the noxious cloud of imbecilic chauvinism.

Ron Weasley squealed like a stuck pig, clutched helplessly at his nether regions, and promptly faintly. Hermione glared at his prone form and kept glaring as Mrs. Weasley, Harry, and Ginny tumbled into the sitting room from the kitchen.

“Oh, my poor boy,” cried Mrs. Weasley. “Quickly, Ginny, help me get him to St. Mungo’s.”

Hermione watched impassively as the two female Weasleys hauled Ron’s body to the Floo and vanished into the green flames. Then she looked slowly at Harry.

“What did he say and what did you do?” her best friend asked, covering his eyes with his hand in resignation.

“He called me a frigid bitch, Harry. Just because I don’t want to sleep with him doesn’t mean I deserve to be called that.”

Harry sighed. “I know, Hermione. I’m sorry.”

The ice was slowly thawing in the pit of her stomach as the belated hot rush of hurt and misplaced shame coursed through her. Hermione closed her eyes for a moment to keep her humiliated tears in check. An arm wrapped around her gently, and she leaned gratefully into Harry’s warm hug.

“I shouldn’t be saying this to you of all people,” she whispered. “But sometimes, I wish I were normal.”

Harry squeezed her tighter. “You are normal, Hermione. Everyone curses Ron sooner or later.”

She smiled into his shoulder. “I suppose I should head out before Ginny or Mrs. Weasley come back to yell at me.”

“What did you do to Ron anyways?”

“I vanished his…”

“Jesus, Hermione!” Harry cringed, his left thigh subconsciously shifting to give himself a little more protection in that area. “Isn’t that a bit harsh?”

“It’s not permanent. Maybe it will teach him to stop thinking with his dick all the time.”

Harry rubbed the bridge of his nose under his glasses. “As much as I would like to believe that, I wouldn’t count on it. I know he’s an arse, ‘Mione. Look you’d better scarper, or you’ll risk going deaf when Molly returns.”

Hermione collected her book and jumper and turned towards the Floo.

Harry stopped her for another hug. “Promise me you’ll stop removing body parts, huh? It really isn’t worth it. I mean the paperwork alone...”

She smirked. “I’ll stop removing body parts when you stop having sex with Ginny just because she wants to.”

Harry grimaced unhappily. “Right. Good night, Hermione.”

Kissing him on the cheek, she ducked into the Floo shouting, “Hogwarts!”

___________________

 

“I expected you back later.”

“Yes, well, as the Weasleys were forced to make a sudden, unexpected trip to St. Mungo’s in a search of Ronald’s missing genitals, I felt it might be prudent to return to my home before they returned to theirs,” said Hermione facetiously to her employer.

Severus Snape arched an impeccable and infamous eyebrow. “Is that so? Need I concern myself with the possibility of an irate Molly Weasley bursting through the Floo at some unseemly hour this evening.”

Hermione shrugged. “A Howler in the morning is more her style. Besides, I doubt she’ll be convinced to leave her baby’s side for the next few hours.”

Severus rose from behind the great mahogany desk and closed the Floo anyways. At Hermione’s look he offered, “Filius arrived back twenty minutes ago, and I would prefer not to trust the peacefulness of my evening to the competence of St. Mungo’s finest.”

“They’ll figure out that it wasn’t permanent easily enough,” said Hermione with an attempt at nonchalance, but really as much as she liked conversing with the Headmaster, she was tired. Like it or not Ron’s comment had stung and all she really wanted was to go to bed.

“May I assume then that it was you that severed Mr. Weasley from his… Mr. Weasley?”

In spite of herself, that startled a laugh from her. Severus had a wicked if dry sense of humor that rarely failed to make her smile if not laugh outright. “Yes, I suppose I did. Mind you, he deserved it.”

“Of that I have no doubt.” Severus took a crystal decanter from above the fireplace and poured her a glass of the mead he knew she liked. They sometimes shared a glass in the evenings after classes. As the only professors under the age of fifty, they had been a bit thrown together but in truth neither was surprised to discover how much they had in common.

Hermione took the glass gratefully and sipped the sweet wine. 

“Was he unable to keep his hands to himself?” Severus asked.

“The last thing I want is the grubby, floundering hands of Ronald Weasley anywhere on my person,” said Hermione with a shudder. “But in fact, it was his mouth that he couldn’t keep in check.”

“He doesn’t know how to please you?” the Headmaster continued tangentially.

“He claims that he could, but I didn’t want him to,” said Hermione dismissively, gazing into her wine glass. “I don’t want anyone to. I am much happier with books and a companion for tea than I ever will be with… with that sort of partner.”

Severus blinked. Or she thought he did. His reply was so smooth she really wasn’t sure.

“The youngest Mr. Weasley is incapable of thought that does not reside in his trousers. Do not allow him to cause you grief.”

Perhaps it was his easy acknowledgement of her feelings, or perhaps it was simply because it was Severus, Hermione found herself admitting for the first time, “It isn’t only Ron. Others have approached me and accused me of being frigid, though Ron does have the dubious distinction of being the first to call me a bitch.”

Severus’s eyes sharpened, and Hermione imagined that if Ron happened to appear, he would be so utterly demolished that it would seem he had instantly Disapparated. 

“Then they are fools,” Severus said firmly. “If they cannot see your worth in your mind and being, they are not deserving of you. Only an utter moron would throw away a chance to be at your side over something as trivial as sex.”

Hermione’s heart fluttered, her palms suddenly damp and her chest tight. “Is… is that how you see it?”

His dark gaze met hers unwaveringly. “Of course. You are a beautiful and fascinating creature, Hermione, and I do not mean your appearance.”

Her skin tingled with the warmth of his words. “You w, wouldn’t want…”

“Wouldn’t want what? To spend every evening in the company of your sharp mind, the heat of your scholarly passion?” his voice was teasing but as he stepped closer and took her hand, there was no doubting the sincerity in Severus’s eyes. “There are desires far more satisfying than sex, Hermione.”

He lifted her hand and brushed his lips over the back. It made Hermione blush but for once she didn’t feel the horrible unwanted pressure towards sex.

“Would,” she hesitated but for Merlin’s sake she was a Gryffindor. “Would you like to have dinner with me?”

“Tonight, and every night after.”  
_____________________

They said nothing about the relationship for months, but they were the best months of Hermione’s life. She and Severus went out into the muggle world as often as the magical, exploring museums, strolling piers, and viewing plays. When they went to Hogsmeade or Diagon, they were mistaken as merely Headmaster and Professor, but neither felt the need to correct these assumptions. They received less attention that way.

Eventually Harry coaxed Hermione and Ron into the same room again, but the situation remained frosty. Hermione thought Harry could probably be convinced to support her choice, but she knew better with Ron. He would not understand how she could kiss a man in the evenings and join him in bed without it leading to anything other than genuine sleep. In any case, she did not want to explain what Severus meant to her. Words cheapened her feelings.

Still, as she always had Hermione struggled with self-confidence, so she could not be fully content until she had explicit answers. She chose a quiet night during the holidays to allay her fears.

“Severus?”

He raised his dark eyes from his reading to give her his attention.

“You… you truly don’t want to have sex with me?” she asked, then quailed, fearing his answer. Why hadn’t she found the courage to ask this sooner? Why now when she was emotionally invested, and his answer would hurt all the more?

“Hermione,” his calm low voice brought her gently back to herself. “My desire or lack thereof is inconsequential. There are far more important aspects than sex. But,” he held up a hand to prevent her nervous words, “in answer to your question, I love you, so I could desire sex with you. But it is not something that I actively want.”

The relief and realization were so acute that all she could say was, “oh.”

Severus reached across the sofa to hold her hand. “You have already given me more than I ever deserved.”

There were so many things wrong with that statement that she didn’t know where to begin. Unable to untangle her arguments, Hermione settled for a much simpler solution.

“I love you too.”

His rich warm laugh was soft velvet to her senses. “I am glad.”

She smiled. “I think I’d like to introduce you to my friends. As my partner I mean.”

“Whatever you wish.” His lips brushed across the back of her hand warming her chest and that was that.

As it turned out, telling Harry was easy. Hermione found herself blurting out at one of their shared lunches. For an instant Harry was quiet and she feared his reaction. Then before she could really begin to fret, he smiled. “I’m happy for you,” said Harry. 

“Really?”

“Really. Have you told Ron?”

She shook her curls to which Harry nodded understandingly. 

“Why don’t you and Severus come over to Grimmauld tomorrow after dinner? I’ll slip Ron some Calming Draught beforehand so hopefully he won’t yell too much.”

There was a reason that after fifteen years Harry was still her best friend. 

In the end when she and Severus arrived at the front door and Harry let them into the old parlor, Ron was too tipsy and excited about a particular Quidditch result—Hermione silently thanked Merlin that Severus cared even less for Quidditch than she—to do much more than gape momentarily at them, like a pale sickly fish.

“He’s…” Ron began.

“Yes.”

“And you’re…”

“Yes.”

“Blimey, ‘Mione.”

She and Severus sat down with Harry to discuss Ministry business because even if Hermione had turned down employment there, she did still consult with some of the departments on a semi-regular basis. There passed a pleasant evening right up until Severus suggested they return home, to the quarters they now shared at Hogwarts.

“Shall we retire for a round of our nightly game, my love?”

Ron made a gagging sound then laughed nastily. “I bet you’re wishing you had accepted me now, ‘Mione. At least I could have made it worth your while.”

“He pleases me far more than you ever could,” snapped Hermione acidly, and if Ron heard innuendo that was hardly her fault.

“Him,” Ron scoffed. “I suppose a slimy snake is a pretty good match for an… eep!”

Hands clutched to the front of his suddenly empty trousers, Ron toppled over onto the floor. The room fell blissfully silent.

“Thank you, Severus,” said Hermione warmly as Harry went to turn over the prone figure and make sure he hadn’t broken his nose in the fall. That was more kindness than Hermione thought Ron deserved, but Harry’s heart was bigger than hers. 

“You’ve really got to find another way to get through to him,” Harry said with exasperation as he stood up from Ron’s side. 

“If he can’t learn to think without his dick, maybe he shouldn’t have one,” Hermione said archly. Harry rubbed the bridge of his nose. He’d been doing that a lot lately.

“Right,” her best friend said. “Well could you at least stop doing it around me? Do you have any idea how much he complains when he wakes up?”

“Sorry, Harry,” Hermione grinned.

Harry rolled his eyes. “Go home, Hermione. I’m sure, Sna… Severus would rather not be here when Ron comes around.”

She kissed him on the cheek whispering, “Thanks Harry,” before following Severus to the door to Disapparate with him.

Appearing in the Headmaster’s office, one of the perks of Severus’s station, Hermione felt the tension of the evening slide off her shoulders. She put a hand on her neck to squeeze the tired muscles and turned to Severus.

“So, are you ready for a game, Hermione?” he asked cheekily. 

She grinned at him. “I’ll get the cards if you’ll get the gin.”

“Gin rummy, it is,” said Severus.

They played late, but eventually they called it a night and crawled into opposite sides of Severus’s opulent canopied bed to sleep. Hermione cuddled against Severus’s warm side listening to his breathing.

“Do you think you might like to marry me, Hermione?” Severus asked quietly into her curls.

“I think that would make me very happy,” said Hermione.

So they did, and so they were.


End file.
